My birthday present this year? A break

I recently celebrated my 32nd birthday. Or more to the point triggered my annual downward spiral of introspection and self flagellation.

I should exercise more, eat less cheese, have a career plan, hem the one curtain that doesn’t have a hem and is done up with safety pins, get light fittings, practice bellydancing with my zills on and hang what the neighbours think, save money, blog more often …  trust me, that is the tip of a very murky iceberg.

It didn’t help matters when I went to the doctors this week with tonsillitis when my GP, for her own sadistic pleasure, went into my family history. Quote unquote “Thirty two is the right age to change your life style to reduce your risk of breast cancer, heart attack, diabetes … “ there were some other diseases in there too but I tuned out with a glazed look of horror. “And make sure you make an appointment for a pap smear soon”

Happy birthday Jen.

My first present to myself is finding a new doctor. One who doesn’t seem to get off on my family’s medical history and have fake sympathy about my brother. If you want to know about Cohen syndrome, Google it woman, don’t ask me 20 questions. Furnish me with the appropriate drugs and let me go be snotty and gross in the privacy of my own home. I have downloaded a whole bunch of Doctor Who and I prefer David Tennant’s bedside manner to yours any day. I need a GP that isn’t emaciated and self righteous, but certainly someone slightly more inspirational than dad’s (previous) cardiologist who smoked constantly and ate a pie for lunch every day.

Present number two: it’s time to stem the tide of self doubt and ease up a little. I’m doin’ just fine and dandy.  Should save up the stress for big deals in life. I have a good job, great friends, a loving partner and weird and wonderful family. And I’m not too bad either. Breathe, and have the odd sneaky piece of camembert, it won’t kill me.

4 thoughts on “My birthday present this year? A break

  1. I dunno Jen, cheese is good for your bones. And your soul. It’s very good for your soul. We should eat some together. When your throat is better, of course.

    You’re right about easing up on yourself (ha, ha, that sounds rude). You see those things as problems but I see them them as evidence of a wonderful person: the curtain hem and light fittings keep getting put off because they’re kinda boring and you have lots of fun things to do; you don’t practice with the zills because you’re showing respect for the neighbours (unless you do it late at night or early in the morning, they will be ok); and you don’t blog very often because you’re always doing fun stuff, like dancing and eating cheese and laughing with Alex and drinking wine with your friends.

  2. Surely a break! Wow, the Jen I know is a talented writer, and a beautiful dancer and a home owner and so much more which I could list but then it sounds like I am just giving you one big ego trip :). So yeah, you’re doing more than fine. Where the hell do you want to be other than here! I remind myself all the time of my fabulous life when I feel like a complete failure. I am just me, and this is how it is, and it is wonderful. BTW I do love how great friends the two of you are now. My love to both of you amazing women.

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